Avoid grovelling

Acknowledging the power dynamics inherent in most interviews
does not mean grovelling. As already mentioned, throwing yourself
at the feet of the interviewer or laughing yourself hoarse at a lame
joke will more than likely be seen as a form of deceit. The lesson
here is a simple one: be aware of the underlying power dynamics
present at most interviews and avoid behaviours (such as arguing a
point or openly disagreeing with the interviewer) that will more
than likely put the interviewer off.

Acknowledging the power source

In most interviews, there is an important yet unspoken dynamic
lurking just beneath the surface. This dynamic is as old as the first
time humans eyeballed each other and opened their mouths to
grunt. Naturally, I’m talking about power. More specifically, I’m
talking about acknowledging the fact that, in the vast majority of
cases, the interviewer has the real power. (The exception to this is
when you are lucky enough to possess a unique set of skills and/or
knowledge that the employer is desperate to have.) If you are serious
about maximising your rapport, it’s important to demonstrate to
the interviewer that you understand they have all the power when
it comes to giving you the job.
As an interviewee, you too have power—primarily through the
fact that you control what the interviewer will hear. However, this
does not eliminate the reality that the power to hire (or not) lies
exclusively with the interviewer. Interviewees who acknowledge the
interviewer’s power stand a better chance of being liked (and therefore
winning the job) because, to put it bluntly, most human beings
have a weakness for feeling important and having their egos stroked.
Intuitively, many of us understand this dynamic but not everyone
proactively demonstrates it during the interview. An interviewer
may not even be aware of this dynamic (you can usually pick the
ones who enjoy their power), but this doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Modelling

An effective way of improving your interpersonal communication
skills is by reading what the experts say and modelling those who
you know are good at it. People you know who are genuinely popular
usually possess highly developed interpersonal communication skills,
even though they may not be aware of it. Next time you’re with
them, take a few minutes to observe all those little things they do
and see what you can learn.
Modelling should be used as a guide only, however. Avoid over-
mimicking or cloning someone else’s behaviours. It is worth
remembering that we are all different and what may work well for
one person may not work for another. Learn to be selective and
adopt only those things that you feel confident about.

Communication is more than just words

One of the most important lessons you can learn about improving
your rapport and trust ability is that there’s much more to
communication than the words that come out of your mouth.
Communications experts constantly remind us that about 10 per
cent of communication is represented by what we say, 30 per cent
by how we say things and 60 per cent by our body language! So if,
in your preparation for an interview you’ve been spending all your
time concentrating on the content of your answers, you have
effectively been spending 100 per cent of your efforts on 10 per cent
of overall communication. This may go a long way towards explaining
why so many people who give technically brilliant answers don’t
get the job.
Admittedly many interviewees understand intuitively that
successful interpersonal communication (face-to-face communication)
relies on much more than just the words used. However, for reasons
too varied and complex to discuss here, there are many people whose
interpersonal communication skills are not as well honed and/or
who are unable to demonstrate their otherwise effective
communication skills during an interview—probably because of
heightened anxiety.
Once you understand that successful communication relies on
a whole range of factors other than words, an entirely new world
of communication begins to emerge. The focus of your interview
preparations should shift from strict word preparation to include a
whole range of non-verbals including such things as appearance,
the way you sit and even when you nod your head. Sometimes a
friendly smile and an acknowledging nod can be worth a lot more
than the best verbal answers.

Last impressions

People tend to recall more of what happens at the beginning and
the end of an event than they do of what occurs in the middle. This
does not mean you concentrate on the beginning and end of your
interview and neglect the middle, however. It is a reminder to be
careful about what you do and say towards the end. Some interviewees
fall into the trap of over-relaxing (usually as a result of over-
compensating for their initial tension) and straying into inappropriate
behaviours such as becoming overly familiar and adopting an ‘I’m
at a barbecue’ style of body language. So make sure you maintain
appropriate interview behaviours right to the very end.

First impressions

In addition, it is important to note that the first few minutes (some
say seconds) of an interview are also very important in swaying the
interviewer’s mind. As the old adage goes, first impressions tend to
be lasting impressions. Briefly (we’ll cover these in more detail later
on), the things to look for include:
• dress;
• handshake;
• eye contact;
• facial expressions;
• tone of voice.

Managing perceptions and preconceived views

Interviews are largely about managing the perceptions of the
interviewer. Studies show that people look for things that they believe
(perceive) will be there, and conversely ignore—or pay less attention
to—those things that don’t fit into their preconceived views. If
interviewers think that you are an outstanding prospect, there’s a
good chance that they’ll be looking for, and registering, all the things
that will support their preconceived notion. In other words, if two
interviewees perform roughly the same at an interview, the interviewee
with the better reputation prior to the interview will most likely be
rated higher.
So, as much as possible, make the best impression you can before
or at the very start of the interview. You can do this by:
• ensuring that your resume is the best that it can be;
• sending a positive and very brief pre-interview letter thanking
the interviewer for the opportunity to be interviewed and stat-
ing how much you’re looking forward to meeting them;
• contacting the company to make sensible pre-interview inquiries
(see Chapter 3). Contacting the company before the interview
demonstrates appropriate interest and a professional level of
preparation.